The concept of copying others is widely discussed amongst social media and the creative capacity, but not hardly addressed in areas of identity and sense of self. It's something I've really been noticing lately and thought it would be a great topic to dive into, as it's a key sign of an identity crisis!
When we lose who we are, whether that's due to a life transition, an "aha" moment, a crisis of faith or values...it's a really scary thing. We're talking IDENTITY here. The very basis of who we are.
So I think it's a really natural inclination to want to try to fill that empty space with something (or someone) else immediately. But when you do this, you are robbing yourself of your ability to ACTUALLY find yourself. As opposed to PRETENDING to be someone, which is what happens when you copy another person' s identity.
Let's first expand on what I mean by "copying" someone else's identity.
Inspiration Versus Imitation:
When you're inspired by someone it's natural to allow their beliefs, behaviors, hobbies even, spill over into your psyche. Hell, we follow those we are inspired by for that purpose. And you most likely follow them and ARE inspired by them because they're beliefs or way of being already align with some part of you. What you're drawn to and who you're drawn to is actually good insight into your identity.
HOWEVER. Inspiration from them means that you agree and implement, but in YOUR OWN WAY. You're adding on with your own personal views and opinions, your voice and vernacular, your style. Being inspired by them means that you either understand or aspire to understand, and you want to share what that means to you. Alternatively, if you just want to reiterate what you're learning about yourself through someone else, that would still be inspiration too, as long as you credit this person for THEIR thoughts and feelings, rather than pretending as if they're your own.
That brings me to imitation. If you don't know who you are, it's all too common to adapt to becoming the people around you. (This is why you have to be so careful about who you surround yourself with, and the media you take in).
But this is a cheap route to a final destination. Not only does it negatively impact you, it impacts the person you're imitating as well.
Seeing someone you're inspired by and then taking their thoughts, the literal words and phrases they've used or said, their beliefs, their feelings, and the way in which they share those things with the world, is imitating. It's stealing. It's cheating. Cheating you and them.
The Ways You're Cheating Yourself with Imitation
Authenticity breeds confidence-and copying isn't authentic. So while feeling as though you're defining yourself or portraying yourself in a certain way as a certain person can in the immediate moment give you a feeling of fulfillment, in the long run it's a false feeling that you'll either have to always keep up with, or ultimately feel low. I mean...I guess you could continue to just imitate and follow...but then you'll always be behind.
Copying also breeds comparison, which is exhausting and demoralizing. Your worth then becomes dependent on how closely you resemble someone else, rather than your own unique way of being.
You're spending a lot of energy pretending to be someone you're not, rather than taking that energy to invest into discovering who you actually are.
The Ways You're Cheating Others with Imitation
You're literally robbing their identity. You're taking their personal uniqueness and making it as though it's your own. Have you ever had that happen to you? Have you ever experienced that friend in high school who always wore what you wore, or did what you did?
If you haven't, you're lucky, Because it's the worst feeling in the world. It feels so smothering and it's a huge boundary issue.
You're also robbing them of their experiences and their personal expression. Once they realize you're copying it then feels like they can't speak or behave or believe that way anymore, because it's been violated. It's no longer their own. It's like getting a one of a kind gift made special for you to all the things you love, and then someone else getting the exact same one, even though they may not even love the same things.
I just shared this as a reel on IG, but if you're reading this and realizing you may be guilty of being a copycat, IT'S OKAY!!. It happens. You're trying to meet a need of yours and you found the quickest way to do it.
But let me share with you some places you can start to learn about yourself, and then go on your own identity journey instead:
how your subconscious works
what your core beliefs are
what you value
your attachment style
your physical habits
Ultimately I just want to encourage anyone on their identity journey to embrace your own experiences and develop your own unique perspectives. Let your own light shine!!!
See you next time,
